your hand touches my cheek as you whisper softly, "don't forget to breathe..."

It has been a good weekend/start-of-week for me, but it's getting so cold, so quickly. I am not the biggest fan of winter. Don't get me wrong, I adore snow and skiing and the whole concept of commercialized Christmas (helps for people who don't believe in the Christ part of the holiday...) and hot chocolate (ha, who are we kidding, I stick with coffee and apple cider and wassail, but hot chocolate is nice on occassion) and especially mistletoe, but winter brings back some memories I'd rather not think about. Just that sensation of getting under the warm blankets and realizing that you really were cold before makes me want to cry a bit. All of this is silly because I absolutely adore fall, which is how I should be feeling right now. Unfortunately, Utah is bipolar and has decided to skip the whole "fall" thing and skip straight to the bitter cold. If it snows on Halloween, you really won't have to worry about the world ending in 2012 cause I just might explode. 

By now you may just be wondering what's the point of explaining all of my wintery angst. Or perhaps not. If you're familiar with my blog, then chances are you know that half the time I'm just rattling off words or stories or obscure facts for no particular reason. This time, however, I have an actual thought to discuss. Lately I've realized how much of a blessing it is that we can forget things. This isn't meant to imply that we're capable of un-remembering what has happened, but somehow over the course of time we discovered a way to push memories into a little corner of our consciousness, giving us the relief of not thinking about whatever it may be. It's not completely thrown out of our heads, but we're able to think about more pressing (or less upsetting...) matters, calling the memory forward as need be or through some outside trigger. 

Just consider for a second how cluttered your thought stream would be if you were constantly thinking about everything that had ever happened to you. Each new thought would simply be added to the pool, ever expanding and becoming more and more noisy. Through the ability to organize our own thoughts, we not only open our own minds to see more of reality, but we also are able to have a better insight to ourselves and what we really want. This very concept was inscribed at the top of the Temple of Delphi, "γνῶθι σεαυτόν" or "gnōthi seauton" meaning "Know Thyself." 

This organization of memories and thoughts is an unconscious process. Give that a second thought. It automatically categorizes what is important and what can be forgotten. That's really quite amazing if you consider everything that happens to you. Even in dreaming you forget minor details yet often remember the crucial parts. You really don't have to take any of this to heart, but if you do, the only real message is to appreciate the little things in life. It's not a new concept or anything innovative, but it's true. Stop and smell the roses. And most importantly, don't forget to breathe.

audio ventus.♥

(from marennazera.tumblr.com )

in short...

I like to dress up because if I don't, who will?
I like to wear black because it's my safe colour--I'm not "goth."
I like to wear lipstick because I think it shakes things up.
I like to take risks with my fashion and I don't care if you disapprove.
I like to follow impulses, no matter how random. That's why I have so many hobbies!
I like to be art. I don't want to be interpreted in only one way.
I like to stay up all night because I have more hours in the day.
I like to dream because it tells a story.
I like to drink coffee because it's delicious.
I like to drink tea because it's delicious.
I like to eat because food is both delicious and disgusting.
I like to write because it evens out my thoughts.
I like to sing because it can make me happy no matter what.
I like to smile. It spreads joy.
I like to see you. You make me smile (:

new addictions

Well I didn't make it into Spy Hop musicology. Which pretty much destroys me. I've been useless all day. So useless that I studied next week's AP Calc just to keep my mind busy. And if you didn't know, I absolutely despise Calculus with a fiery, burning passion. I guess I'll just stick with the film documentary program at Spy Hop and start up voice lessons again... I am so depressed.

Before all that sad stuff I became addicted to two new websites:
Tumblr!! and Lookbook!!

They're pretty much fantastic. There you can follow my spontaneous fashion quirks and random thoughts. Aren't you glad you don't get all that junk here? (aren't you glad I always talk to you even though no one really reads this except the occasional extraordinarily bored friend? if you're actually following this... props to you.)

That's really all I have to say. I'm too depressed about musicology to care about anything other than fashion. So we'll end on a lyrical quote:

"Fashion is a lifestyle; it's a choice

It's a freedom of expression

You have to live it; you have to love it;

You have to breathe it;

Life's all about love & glamour..."

~"Love & Glamour" by Christina Aguilera

audio ventus.♥

sing me spanish techno...

I really do miss singing quite a bit. Legitimate singing. Like... With a piano and sheet music. I don't get quite the same sense of accomplishment with stuff I or other friends have written... Pity. What's something you miss right now?

Why exactly do I need to know the material in my AP Calculus course? I'm pretty sure I could have made it through life with a basic knowledge of addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, graphs, tables, and other silly things like how to find the area of a cube. I really doubt I'm ever going to have to find the area of a bowling pin using calculus. Even if I were drowning in a room that was filling up with water at a set rate and I had to calculate how much air I had left, OH WAIT I WOULD BE SPENDING MY LAST MINUTES THINKING ABOUT PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT.

I've gone back to my old jazz collection. Everything sounds better on vinyl. But iTunes is so much more convenient. I'm in love with Kay Starr. She is so amazing. That's basically all. Same with the Andrew Sisters, the Boswell Sisters, and the somewhat more modern Imelda May. They pretty much blow my mind.

I watched The Triplets of Belleville the other day for the first time in ages. I love that movie SO much. It was nominated for two Oscars and 18 other awards when it was released in 2003. It's a French movie, but that doesn't really matter anyway since there's hardly any speaking through the movie and none of it is even necessary to the plot. "When her grandson is kidnapped during the Tour de France, Madame Souza and her beloved pooch Bruno team up with the Belleville Sisters–an aged song-and-dance team from the days of Fred Astaire–to rescue him. "  A must see for anyone with good taste in movies. (Playing dirty, I know hehe)

Plus, if you like that movie, you should look into L'Illusioniste, which is another movie directed by Sylvain Chomet. I haven't actually seen that movie but I'd like to see it as soon as possible!! The only other movie I know of that he's (co)directed is Paris, Je T'aime, but that one is obviously not a cartoon, and if you haven't seen it, I suggest you do so.

Putting images in my blog posts does two things:
1) Makes them seem longer and more interesting &
2) Makes them seem more organized and professional.


Too bad they're really neither one of those things (:
Thanks for reading, if you're reading.


audio ventus.♥

iSaw

You guessed correctly, there's a new Apple product called iSaw. As it's name implies, it's a branch off of the iPod that is used like glasses. The controls are located on the sides of the glasses and it has built in headphones where the sides wrap around your ears. A small screen located at the bottom of the left lense shows you which song is playing and by hitting the small button on the top of the bridge of your iSaw, you can switch to full-screen mode for a panoramic view of your music video or movie. Available in clear lenses or sunglasses, 8 GB, 32 GB, or 64 GB.

Just kidding. But that would be awesome. No, the real meaning of that is that I saw. Not as in the past tense of see, saw. (And not in the sense of the playground equipment see-saw) I mean to say I play the musical saw, otherwise known as the singing saw. I can already play a few songs and it sounds ethereal. I'm so excited. I always wanted to play the saw when I was a little kid but my parents said no because they didn't really want me to have a saw haha. Here's the thing: they make saws without teeth especially for musical purposes. Wish I would have done the research back then. They probably also thought I would have wanted a teacher and people who teach the saw aren't really very common to come by. It's pretty simple once you get the hang of it though, I'm sure I could have figured it out on my own. 

Along with obscure instruments, I'd also like to learn to play the theremin and the armonica. No, not harmonica, armonica. It was invented by Benjamin Franklin and was one of his favourite inventions. You know in Miss Congeniality when she plays a song with crystal cups? It's the same concept--a bunch of bowls. Who knows though. I'm sure I'll get around to it eventually. I should probably learn something practical like piano or guitar first. I just have no patience with those. Everyone plays them.

Spy Hop auditions for the Musicology program were on Saturday. I royally fucked myself over there. Guitar is DEFINITELY NOT my forte. That's okay though. Hopefully things work out anyway. Sixteen people applied for the program and only eight will be accepted. Is it irrational that I'm nervous? What are they going to say, "You were good enough last year, but not this year... Sorry..."? That would be very unfortunate for me indeed. I have no life. Spy Hop is one of the only things to which I can look forward. 

With school and coaching volleyball and school (AP CALCULUS IS KILLING ME!) and music and writing and two of the only TV shows I watch premiering, I feel so rushed with everything!! Freaking out over Gossip Girl and Glee is a necessity. Both are programmed into my phone calendar (along with 389751957 other things per week) and they're both ridiculously dramatic. Ah! 

I'm finally starting to remember all those years of Latin classes. It only took half a quarter. Everything just went in one ear and out the other, apparently. Which is quite unfortunate since the same thing happened with French, and I'd really like to go spend a month in France this summer. Preferably Nice. Nice is so nice! (haha) Plus if I did the program in Paris, I'd be under constant lockdown, always have to be with a counselor, and curfew is 10 o clock... Nice is much more relaxed. I'd be having French classes for up to five hours a day and have myriad other activities, as well as free time to wander the city. Doesn't it just sound amazing?! The only reason I'd rather go to Paris is for the different museums and to see the Moulin Rouge. 

A kiss on the hand may be quite continental,

But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

audio ventus.♥

later this morning...

I'm still at Marmalade of course, but I feel as though I have nothing better to do than write here, so this is, of course, what I am doing. Ryan Tani and RJ Abuyo are sitting across from me but I have no clue whatsoever what they're talking about. I am now drinking an iced blood orange tea because Jazz made one for me one day and now I'm addicted. My band obsessions of the month are Bitter:Sweet and The Blow. Bitter:Sweet is kind of sinister. I love it. It kind of reminds me of a film noir scene. It's just fabulous. I tend to like albums that make me think of a movie scene. I was the same way with all of Carla Bruni's music. Made it seem like I should be walking around a little street in France.

I have a new addiction: dearblankpleaseblank.com
It's like MLIA or FML or TFLN only much, much better. Go check it out for yourself.

It's kind of cold in here. It makes me sad beyond belief that it's starting to get cold in Utah. I should live somewhere where it's warm all year round. But then I'd probably miss the cold. I hate allergies. I can't really sing right now. I don't sound especially sick while I talk but my range has gone down by about an octave. I'd really like my voice back, kthanksbye.

I hate when people move away. I miss the foreign exchange students. People shouldn't have to leave your life. Ever. But it's so hard sometimes. Oh well, at least we have the internet now (: I miss everyone on the east coast too. Everything seems so much easier over there. I need to go back soon or I'll go insane.

Basically... I'm just tired of Utah right now. There are a few highlights, but I'd much rather be somewhere else.

STOP BEING SO COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

audioventus.♥

this morning

I had to take my little brother to school. Now I'm sitting in Marmalade with Michael aka Mickle aka Miklmiklmotorcycle. That's basically all I have to say. I have my iced americano and life is good.
Hope everyone has a fantastic day!!

audio ventus.♥

words

‎"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." --Audrey Hepburn

I love her. Anyway, I did henna with my bee eff eff Sidni yesterday. I don't know if I really talk about her a lot on here, she usually gets into my personal journal. They turned out pretty cool. On my left palm there's the Leo sign with a heart inside and dots around the edges. Then spiraling around that I wrote "does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?♥everything that deceives may be said to enchant..." in my usual cursive. The first part is a line from Mayday Parade's "You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds" and the second part is one of my favourite quotes by Plato. 

I love the idea of tattoos because whatever words or symbols you have tattooed become a part of you, literally and figuratively. Even though these are just henna and will fade, the ink has been in my skin and it has become a part of me. I plan on getting a similar tattoo for real eventually. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or be?

audio ventus.♥

questions for questions...

I have a question:
well... two actually!! first of all, would you ever dance with me like that?
you know me by now, always have to complete the lyrical phrase...
secondly... what is the appeal of "wolf tails" as fashion accessories?
it just makes no sense to me. neither does the whole "wolf pack" thing...
okay, I'll accept that you're a group of close friends who are family to each other
but do we really have to take it to the level of WOLVES?
it's fashion, it's showing individuality(only not really...), it's a bond, it's...whatever you would like to call it.
I simply do not understand it.

And the fact that I just saw one in Nylon magazine makes my respect for them drop significantly. This is so disappointing... (yes, I do read Nylon at 2 am. do not judge me.)

audio ventus.♥

inspired

In a city of blind conformity, I had no place. Wandering without aim and lost in a world with which I had no contact, no identity. Criticizing auras lash out at my energy. I'm becoming depleted. I am trapped.

There is no name for here. Nothing is physical, nothing is tangible. I have no sense of identity. But that is how it should be. One of the most significant changes in death was the absolute acceptance of all these new ideas. The truth lost its blinding facade. There are no words to fully define "Truth." Something the mortal world has yet to accept is that you can't define. By definition of a being, it is tied down to one word. But each word is tied down to a series of letters. Eventually, you're left with a series of incomprehensible nothings--at least to you.

The way you see is not the way I see. I cannot see. I have no eyes, no brain to compute the light. Instead I see the energy coming from your body as you read my words. I see your energy shift as you tilt your head and twitch your finger to scroll down the page. I can watch the energy field cascade around you, affecting particles in all directions. I can see the struggle within you as your mind tries to decide what to think of this new information. My energy is flowing into yours, becoming a part of you. You didn't choose to read these words, you chose to open the page and allow your brain to soak up the text. Your mind is open.

I wish I'd had someone to guide me through the transition. My life ended so abruptly. It doesn't matter how. The state of life while a living human is an entirely different experience than being. While human, you experience everything in a heavy, weighted manner. After, it's almost indescribable. Views are changed completely. In a human metaphor, you are like one tiny water particle in a rainbow. You can only see the others directly surrounding you, while there are trillions of other particles just beyond your reach. While you're a small contribution to the big picture, death is the light that shines through all of you and brings me into existence. A rainbow. Not every part is my own, but when looking at the full spectrum, I am free to do a whole myriad of activities. One of the most important of these activities being that I have the option to disperse myself and disappear.

You've been considering asking about God this entire time, I know. Humans have formulated this image of a superior being which brought all of life into existence. Some believe God is a man, some a woman, some an androgynous figure, but all religions believe in the existence as an explanation of why we are here. Questions will remain unanswered to humans for all eternity. You simply don't have the means of accepting the truth as it really is. However, the most brief way of explaining it is this:

There is good and there is evil. You could call the good "Heaven," and the bad "Hell," but in the end it all evens out to be definite energy sources. These energy sources are the epitome of Pure good and Pure evil. In death, should the being choose to move on, they would choose which source to fuel with their own energy. Most beings choose whichever energy source they drew the most from in their mortal life, but there is always the choice. I, on the other hand, have chosen not to join either.

You can call me a ghost or a poltergeist or any other worldly name created for a "supernatural" being, but in reality I am of no definition. My ideas are to be interpreted in any manner and my information manipulated by any given being. Elaborations on the "afterlife" would only continue to cloud your own perception of energy as a whole, so I will say no more. But I will give you a word of advice:

Look toward each new day with an open mind for whatever you may encounter. May it be coincidence, fate, or some other defined destiny, it's all for a greater cause in the end. Appreciate it.

Sorry for the spontaneous spark of fiction. A recent conversation with a friend inspired it and I wanted to jot parts of it down. I have strange notions when I can't sleep. None of this is meant to offend anyone in any way, especially anyone who may believe in a god. I'm not saying these are definitely my views, but I'm also no denying I could accept any of these ideas. Before anyone asks, I did not copy this from a book, I did not take the plot out of an existing story, I did not use anything except my fingers to type and my mind to think. All the energy fields are somewhat similar to the energy described in The Celestine Prophecy, but it's not intended to represent that at all. I hope it at least made you think. There is thought put into it. Thanks for reading (: Always remember to 

listen to the wind

audio ventus.♥

post script

JUST KIDDING
I have to ramble about my movie findings a bit more (:
First of all, I watched The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest and they were AMAZING. I still don't like the plot lines quite as much as the first book/movie, but they were still fantastic. It makes me wish I spoke Swedish!! But I'll survive.



Okay... And also... I'm not a huge Kristen Stewart fan.
I'm also not a huge anti-Twilight person. I'm not going to deny that I went through my Twilight phase. In 7th grade. I just got over it. The third movie, Eclipse, was actually fairly decent. The new director, David Slade, (third one of the series... I guess the first and second just didn't cut it for them.) definitely kicked them into better shape. But no matter how much I disapprove of Kristen Stewart, her movie The Runaways was amazing. Co-starring with Dakota Fanning they did their absolute best to portray Cherie Currie (Fanning) and Joan Larkin/Jett (Stewart). I was skeptical when I started watching it, not only because of Stewart but also because I didn't want The Runaways to be turned into a pop culture item. I tried to cut my hair like Cherie Currie's once... That was a disaster!! My hair is still recovering. As I finished the movie I was thoroughly pleased. There were a few details I would have changed, but for the most part I thought it was amazing. I've watched it three times since. The costuming was amazing as well. It might not stand out at first, but once you watch it, you can't get it out of your head. At least I couldn't. Musically, Dakota's vocals were more on pitch and proper, but you simply cannot top the original ch-ch-ch-ch-CHERRY BOMB!!







I approve (: go watch them.

audio ventus.♥

it feels like the world's been infected

and somehow you've left me neglected...
You Lost Me--Christina Aguilera. beautiful song.
Anyway, I'd just like to apologize for never writing anymore!! Hopefully someone is missing my ramblings (:
Let's just say my personal journal is FULL of random stories and thoughts... My blog, not so much.
Boating with my friends was amazing.

Had to do the whole America's Next Top Model shot, of course (: we're so amazing, it's not even funny. The trip was full of dirty jokes and laughing, but also bonding between friends and some lovely chats. Definitely a highlight of my summer!! Especially midnight walks along the beach, lying in the sand, and seeing shooting stars. We all have to hang out soon again. Even though the two sides of the group hadn't ever really met each other, we all felt like best friends by the end of the trip!!

((yeah, we know we're hot. don't lie, you know you couldn't look any better than this after a day of boating and camping with no showers!!))

Yesterday I went to see Hello Amsterdam and Cub Country play at the library. props to Jeremy Chatelain. Not only were you an amazing mentor at spyhop this year, you also own the stage in both of these bands (: I hung out with Joel there for a bit and afterward I went to get coffee with Ola at coffee break. I swear everyone was there! Turns out Ola's mom is dating one of the guys I know there too. What a small world!!

Today all I did was go to Cafe Rio with Travis. Gotta love the unhealthy food... Then we went to Gateway and stood in the train station and sung Domine Exaudi. The acoustics are amaaaazzziiiinnnnggggg in there!!! We took like 325897239875 takes of ourselves singing in there but it seemed like either we would mess up or someone would walk in and make a ton of noise. We finally got a good track though (: Super fun.

That's all I really have to say, I know this probably doesn't seem like a very exciting post, but it's been such a great week so far (: I guess the moral of the story is that the greatest memories are sometimes made by just jumping into each day with a great attitude. How are YOU ending your summer?

audio ventus.♥

the grass always seems greener on the other side

so I just realized the immense difference between my personal journal and this blog.
also, reading through previous posts on this blog, it's kind of gone downhill haha
but from insights to shoes, it's just what's on my mind.
so I have a small assignment for anyone who chooses to read this:
make a list of everything on your mind and separate them into two different lists
call the lists whatever you want, but make one private and one public
you can even take it further and do more than two lists
but really it's all up to you.
you might be surprised where some things end up.

audio ventus.♥

somebody mixed my medicine...

now baby it's all gone...
new guilty pleasure band? The Pretty Reckless. Honestly, it isn't that "guilty" so to say. I only say that because I adore Taylor Momsen on Gossip Girl. I actually really respect her work as an actress, model, and now singer. She's so edgy and not afraid to be herself. For the die-hard old school rock n roll fans maybe her music isn't for you, but I love it. She's only slightly older than I am and I appreciate that she isn't trying to be the perfect little blonde pop-princess. We've got way too many of those nowadays. Current favourite song: Goin' Down.
"Hey there, Father, I don't wanna bother you but I've got a sin to confess, I'm just sixteen if you know what I mean, do you mind if I take off my dress?"
I'm pretty damn excited to finally turn sixteen. It feels like I've been waiting sixteen years. Oh wait...
Last night I splurged a little and bought myself some early birthday presents. Call me a bookworm and I'll take it as a compliment. I bought three books: The Celestine Prophecy, Classy, and Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. I'm so excited to read them. I skimmed through all the "A Lady" quotations in Classy last night and found that they were SO cute and really inspiring. The book is basically just a modern guide to etiquette for girls. If you're a girl and don't aspire to be your social group's Ke$ha, I would highly recommend checking it out.

Then I started reading The Celestine Prophecy which was highly recommended to me by Caleb Johnson. I only made it through the first two chapters before deciding I was way too exhausted to continue on and actually make any sense of it. I'm not sure if I approve of a lot of the writing style choices, but I'm sure the story will be great. Here's the book's description:
"In the rain forests of Peru, an ancient manuscript as been discovered. Within its pages are 9 key insights into life itself--insights each human being is predicted to grasp sequentially, one insight, then another, as we move toward a completely spiritual culture on Earth."
The cover is classy (hehe) and simple, no pictures or intriguing designs. That type of cover in a bookstore today says one of three things about a book: that the book is extraordinarily boring, the publisher was too cheap to come up with something creative, or the book is so amazing that it can stand on it's own without any visual draw. I'm hoping this one falls into that third category.

Now we come to Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. It's a pretty well known title, but I just haven't gotten around to reading it yet. If you're interested in pop-culture of any form, this is the book for you. Like Rocky Horror Picture Show? Chuck Klosterman provides a myriad of new goodies over which to obsess.


All right, finished with the books. I also stopped by Blockbuster on my way home and picked up The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. For you select followers who are up to date on my ramblings, you probably are thinking "Oh thank god, it only took MONTHS of you saying you need to see it..." Don't worry, I'm as relieved as you are. I'm just so terrible at seeing movies. I was really skeptical when I popped the disc into my laptop ((I always watch movies on my laptop&plug it into the sound system in my room... so much better than the tv... even if I'm settling for a smaller screen. Worth it.)) and hit play. Fortunately, director Niels Arden Oplev didn't disappoint. I was extraordinarily relieved to find the movie is in Swedish with subtitles. I don't think it would have been nearly as satisfying if they'd made all the characters speak English. I was even satisfied with the casting choices. I'll always prefer my original ideas of the characters that I formed in my mind while reading the books, but the movie was still fantastic. I highly recommend both the movie and the book if you're into suspense and mystery.



On a completely different and utterly cliche note, I feel inclined to give a few shoutouts to awesome people in this post. So here is a list of friends, new acquaintances who will hopefully become better friends, and people I greatly admire:
Sidni Hodgson. Nothing beats spending time with your best friend. Especially dodging through sprinklers in a white t-shirt while attempting to get home. Enough said.
Matthew Burton. Even Classy instructs the proper lady to have at least one "GBF." That's gay best friend. Don't know how I feel about that being a classy requirement, but I don't have to worry about that anyway. Gotta love the fierce Leo's!!
Jeremy Hodges. Did you know that Toys R Us has a red door?! Endless games of truth or truth and mocha cappuccinos with extra mo-KA! Irreplaceable.
Parker Holt. Word to the wise: don't over-rotate while backflipping off the white. Feel better Parker (:
Alicia Murphy. Best friends since 3rd grade. Plus she has my blog bookmarked on her mac. No explanation needed.
Renzo Miera. Just for being super cool and agreeing that Monty Python is the shit. And for being at Spy Hop. It's hard to be at Spy Hop and not be super cool though. Here's to hopefully being better friends in the future (: Thanks for caring enough to read my blog.
Joel Brown. Another awesome Spy Hopper. Hardly know the guy but coffee was awesome anyway. Here's to the future success of his awesome new album-in-process!! And to Bruno. Cause... Sacha Baron Cohen is just fantastic.
Blake Sharette & Caleb Johnson. Those dudes are just too cool. Both for being awesome guitarists and awesome friends in general. But they both owe me a hang out.
But Blake, let's not kid now. I'd be the most badass Disney princess ever. I don't care if they already have an Asian one. I even watch Disney channel to study for my role (;

I know I've left quite a few people off this list but I'll get around to another one sometime or later.
Look into those books and the movie. Really.

audioventus.♥

just idylling around...

The show/CD release went great (: headlining was amazing and the bands who went before us were soooo talented!! Malevolent MC aka Ian Sanabria was super cool and gave me his CD for free (: plus the Direction was amazing as usual. Thanks SO much to everyone who came to support!! We had a great time playing for you (: And of course, as usual, we got in our fair share of group hugs!!





I know, you're definitely jealous of us (:


Beirut and Twin Sister is tonight and the Neon Trees concert is tomorrow!! Don't you just love music?! What concerts are you going to? Elan was kind enough to compile this list of concerts... AHHH!!!!


July 22nd - Beirut w/ Twin Sister @ The Twilight Concert Series in Pioneer Park, FREE!

July 23rd - Neon Trees w/ Paper Tongues, Civil Twilight @ the Velour, $15

July 26th - The Ataris w/ Gasoline Heart @ Kilby Court, $14

July 27th - Silversun Pickups w/ Against Me, The Henry Clay People @ The Rail Events Center, $26

July 28th - The Remus Lupins for Wrock the Vote @ The Main library, FREE!

July 29th - Reverend Horton Heat @ The Depot, $20

July 29th - Miniature Tigers w/ Spinto Band @ Kilby Court, $12

July 29th - The New Pornographers w/ The Dodos @ The Twilight Concert Series in Pioneer Park, FREE!

July 30th - Black Mountain @ The Urban Lounge, $12

July 31st - Colin Hay @ The Sandy Amphitheater, $23

August 3rd - Mimicking Birds @ Kilby Court, $8

August 4th - Tokyo Police Club @ In The Venue, $15.50

August 5th - Rush @ The USANA Amphitheater, $65 - $125

August 5th - Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings w/ Jamie Lidell @ The Twilight Concert Series in Pioneer Park, FREE!

August 6th - Darude @ In The Venue, $25

August 7th - The Vans Warped Tour with Andrew W.K., Dropkick Murphy's, NeverShoutNever, Pennywise, Reel Big Fish, The Dillinger Escape Plan, and many more @ The Utah State Fairpark, $30

August 7th - Infected Mushroom w/ Plump DJ's @ Saltair, $30

August 10th - We Are Scientists @ Kilby Court, $12

August 11th - The Temper Trap @ The Depot, $20

August 12th - Matisyahu @ The Twilight Concert Series in Pioneer Park, FREE!

August 13th - Jack Johnson @ The USANA Amphitheater, $35/$55

August 13th - Primus w/ Gogol Bordello @ The Rail Events Center, $36

August 14th - Deftones @ The Rain Events Center, $36

August 15th - Yonder Mountain String Band @ The Depot, $25

August 17th - Dave Matthews Band @ The USANA Amphitheater, FREE!

August 17th - Bob Dylan @ The Deer Valley Amphitheater, $49.50

August 19th - Big Boi w/ Chromeo @ The Twilight Concert Series in Pioneer Park, FREE!

August 21st - Rasputina @ The Urban Lounge, $17

August 24th - B.B. King w/ Al Green and Buddy Guy @ The Deer Valley Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater, $75

August 26th - She & Him @ The Twilight Concert Series in Pioneer Park, FREE!

August 31st - The Black Crowes @ The Depot, $45

September 3rd - The Avett Brothers w/ Gov't Mule @ The Deer Valley Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater, $40

September 2nd - Vampire Weekend w/ Beach House @ In The Venue, $30

September 7th - The Nekromantix @ In The Venue, $15

September 11th - !!! @ In The Venue, $15

September 14th - Titus Andronicus @ Kilby Court, $12

September 18th - Hot Hot Heat w/ Hey Rosetta @ In The venue, $15

September 23rd - Phoenix w/ Holy Ghost! @ The Rail Events Center, $35

September 24th - Starfucker @ Kilby Court, $12

September 24th - Starfucker @ Urban Lounge, $12

September 25th - School of Seven Bells @ Urban Lounge, $10

September 28th - Band of Horses @ In The Venue, $28

October 1st - Blue October @ The Complex, $25

October 3rd - Matt Hires @ Kilby Court, $10

October 4th - El Ten Eleven w/ Dosh @ Urban Lounge, $10

October 6th - The Eels @ The Complex, $22

October 8th - Ludo @ The Avalon Theater, $13

October 12th - Ra Ra Riot @ In The Venue, $15

October 14th - Social Distortion @ The Complex, $25

October 18th - Born Ruffians @ Urban Lounge, $10

October 22nd - Matt Costa @ The Complex, $15

October 25th - Of Montreal w/ Janelle Monae @ The Complex, $20

October 26th - The Horrorpops @ The Complex, $13

October 27th - Dr. Dog w/ Here We Go Magic @ The Urban Lounge, $20

October 28th - Electric Six w/ The Constellations @ The Urban Lounge, $15

November 16th - Black Label Society @ The Complex, $33

November 19th - Ghostland Observatory @ The Depot, $27

March 19th, 2011 - Lady Gaga @ The Energy Solutions Arena, $49.50 - $175

May 24th, 2011 - U2 @ The Rice Eccles Stadium (Rescheduled from June 3rd, 2010), $30 - $250


I don't know how many of these I'm actually attending since I am poor and have no money to spend on concerts ((YAY FOR THE FREE TWILIGHT CONCERT SERIES)) but hopefully I'll get to see some amazing artists!!
That's all for now... I don't have anything blog worthy on my mind other than music.


audio ventus.♥

after a long hiatus...

summer time gets me distracted (:
after a spontaneous conversation with "Anon" on my last post, I am writing a new post... still curious as to who you are, anonymous. but thank you for reading!!
a lot has happened since the last time I posted. I read the other two books in the Millennium trilogy, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest. They're all great, mindboggling books. Highly recommended by yours truly. I have yet to see the film, but I've heard good things about it.
I still haven't seen Inception either for which I have heard nothing but amazing reviews... apparently a lot of my friends have gotten their minds raped by it's spectacular story.
Tonight is Idyll Rigamarole's (my band) CD release party!!! I'm so excited, I hope it will be as great as it's seeming like it'll be. We're playing with a lot of talented artists including the Direction. We decided to name our album "...all of life is a foreign country..." after the Jack Keroac quote. It pretty much describes our journey as a band and the last track on our album expresses how much we'll all miss each other once we aren't playing together anymore.
This post is going to end up being completely about media I suppose.
The Twilight Concert Series this year is amazing. Just utterly amazing. I've had an exponentially better time at each concert than the last, even though we're only three weeks into it right now. Modest Mouse was just spectacularly crowded but it's something I'll never forget. I was only one person away from front row AHHH!!! Had to take a good 48 hours to recover from that one. Girl Talk was just a party. And damn did we party hard.
Not only do the concerts give me an excellent excuse to have all my favourite people in the same place, there are amazing, talented bands for our entertainment as well as plenty of other activities available for our utilization.
Erlend, my highland prom date, has been back in Norway for quite a while now. I miss him a lot. The saying goes you don't know what you love till it's gone, and it's really very true. I wish I'd spent a lot more time with him while I could have.
Live in the moment, it might be gone before you know it.
Well it's raining and it's 3:30, and this is a slightly short post, but I've got to go get ready for the CD release show, buy something to wear, buy cupcakes, and then go watch the amazing artists who are opening for us!! Hope to see you (whoever "you" may be) there!!
audio ventus.♥

shocking, I know...

but I'm actually not at sugarhouse coffee!!
I'm at coffee break. hahaha. So have you ever walked outside and the weather and lighting somehow reminds you of a certain memory or time in your life? That happened to me yesterday afternoon... It was kind of strange lighting, and it was just barely warm... It reminded me so much of camping in the Ruby Mountains when I was little. Once while we were there there were some boys who caught a bunch of river snakes and gave one of them to my friend Alana and me. It seemed like the coolest thing ever at the time. Since then I've touched a lot of snakes though...

Last night I finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It was really good, I would definitely recommend it to anyone who loves mystery novels. I was extremely frustrated that I couldn't figure out how the girl disappeared, which I suppose is a good thing, but still. There was plenty of suspense and a ton of foreshadowing... though still not enough to give it away. I never would have been able to guess the ending.

I'm excited to start going boating again!! If this horrid rain stops, we're going on Monday (: daisy dukes bikinis on top!! I just love the sun... Unfortunately this is Utah and the weather changes every five minutes. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now. And I wish for summer. True summer.

Anyway, let's just say for a minute that the earth were flat and the universe were still centered around the sun... That's how I feel at the moment: like an object moving through space with too much surface resistance to actually get anywhere. That makes a lot more sense in my head. I'm just stuck. I can't write anything worth reading, and I can't listen to half my music ((my laptop was kindly broken by my little brother and I haven't transferred all my music onto this one yet)) except on my iPod which is currently dead.

I planned on dying my hair dark cherry chocolate colour ((reddish brown, if you prefer...)) but after I bleached it and washed the bleach out my hair was pretty fried. It ended up a reddish brown & blonde colour so I'm pretty content with it. I definitely like dark brown better though... I've never really approved of blonde asians, and this isn't really blonde, but it's pretty close...

I've been pretty lonely lately... not in the sense that I have no one to hang out with, but more that I don't have anyone to do anything more than hang out with. Let's rephrase: I need somebody to love.
((insert Donkeyboy song "Sometimes" here; but sometimes I need somebody who can make me feel all right, shades me from the streetlight, I'm breaking up, I need someone who needs somebody now.))
There's a huge difference in my definitions of lonely and alone. Alone is when you're completely empty--you have friends, but no one to be there for you, or even to fancy being there for you. Lonely is when you're just longing for someone's company. I'm not alone, I guess... but definitely lonely.

I'm reading Candide by Voltaire again for the first time since 7th grade. I've got to admit, it makes a ton more sense now than it did then. It brings up a lot of the same points as Plato's books, as well as books about Darwinism, but it does it in a completely different way, which makes it worth reading. I've always been a sucker for books with actual stories.

"Alas, it was love; love, the comfort of the human species; love, the preserver of the universe, the soul of all sensible beings; love, tender love!' ~Pangloss in Candide. 

Can you beat that? Destroyed by the one he loved. Don't know the story? well read it. What's a good book? I'm running out of things to read... Oh well, I'll just buy something and read it on the Kindle app on my iPod again (: I tend to be doing that a lot lately. So give me recommendations? good plan is good (:

audio ventus.♥

I stayed awake through the night again...

Replaying that night through my head...
I swear Letters & Lights songs get stuck in my head so often!! Well, I'm sitting here at sugarhouse coffee again... It isn't like I blog from anywhere else, you know... 24 oz iced americano with cream. story of my life. Anyway, SPA's prom was last night. It wasn't really last night but it feels like it since I didn't sleep last night... All right, so Saturday night was SPA's prom. We were out playing in the park at 10 am and prom ended at 11 pm. Then Sidni and Bobby and I went and took pictures with the city lights in the background up by Bailie's house if you know where that is... Good times (: Jeremy was my date. It was a lot of fun... I was exhausted afterward!! I took a ton of pictures, but unfortunately, I cannot find my camera cord ANYWHERE!! I searched for almost two hours straight... Oh well, it'll show up eventually; everything does with time.

Let's move on to books... I'm currently in the last section of Darwin's Black Box. It covers a lot of things that Darwin's Cathedral didn't. Most of the chapters go into excruciating detail on examples of theories or directly quote researchers' papers, so I don't really know how to summarize it. Let's just say that I've never been more glad that my blood clots correctly and that Bombardier beetles don't live in Utah.

Actually we'll describe those for a bit. Bombardier beetles are probably the most exciting bugs about which I've ever read. Not that I read about bugs very often, but you catch my drift. These bugs have developed a system in which they mix hydroquinine and hydrogen peroxide and then add catalase. The catalase causes the mixture to explode and heat up to a boiling temperature which is then released onto any threatening predator. Crazy right? I think so. I've probably learned more biology and biochemistry from this book than I have in all my years of school put together. Sad.

The other night I took the time to re-read Plato's The Symposium. It goes up pretty high on my all time favourite books list, right with The Republic and Candide ((by Voltaire... fellow coffee addicts unite!! Did you know Voltaire used to drink up to 70 cups of coffee a day? He thought it sparked his creativity.)). In The Symposium a lot of different arguments are brought up on the subject of Love, and Socrates' argument comes second to last. In case you didn't know, Plato always wrote in dialogue ((hence the term "Platonic dialogue")) because he didn't trust anything portrayed other than through speech. Each one of the men present at the symposium bring up different arguments, but I'm not going to describe them; you should take the time to read the arguments sometime yourself. However, I will throw in some mythology since it seems to be getting quoted quite a lot lately. It's an interesting twist on creation. Basically what Aristophanes, one of the speakers, describes is an alternative creation in which each human being was more circular and had two heads, four arms, four legs, etc. There were originally three sexes, male, female, and androgynous. Zeus was unhappy with their disobedience and their lack of sacrifice, so he struck each being in half with lighting bolts. Each being walked around bleeding from the center until Zeus took pity on them and had Apollo close them like drawstring bags, leaving only a small indentation on their stomachs as a reminder of their punishment. Each half-being wandered the earth searching for their other part, the males searching for males, the females searching for females, and the androgynous beings each searching for their counterpart. In this way, Aristophanes gives an explanation for homosexuality, which is later discussed by the men, stating that, "Those who are cut from the male gender go for males. While they are boys, because they are slices of the male gender, they are attracted to men and enjoy sleeping with men and being embraced by them. These are the best of their generation, both as boys and young men, because they are naturally the bravest. ... Here is clear evidence that this: men like this are the only ones who, when grown up, end up as politicians." Isn't it interesting how society has changed? Especially in Utah, where people get arrested for kissing on Temple grounds...

That's all for now, since I want to read more... Let's end on a note of jewelry shall we? My August birthstones are peridot, sardonyx, diamonds, onyx,& tourmaline. As a Leo, my Zodiac birthstone is onyx. I wear an onyx ring on my right index finger. Some of the powers onyx is said to hold include eliminating negative thoughts, relieving stress, promoting spiritual inspiration, and sharpening the wits. Sounds like a good plan right? I think so. You should go look up your birthstones too!!

Shoutout to Sara Best for reading my blog (: you're pretty dank.
Don't ask. Just know I love you dearly!!

audioventus.♥

do not block crosswalk...

still at sugarhouse. stillllllll at sugarhouse.
I moved up to the top level in order to not be around so many noisy old people
for some reason there were a lot of noisy old people down there....
"Do Not Block Crosswalk" was the first thing I saw when I opened up a new post, so that's the title of this. Spontaneous. Kind of like my thoughts when I haven't slept. You know how it goes.
I'm now drinking a dirty chai. It's lovely. A bit sweet though, and super expensive... sigh. so much money spent today!!
ON NOTHING BUT COFFEE. how awful.

Okay. So I made my dress for Highland's prom. It turned out really well, considering I had two days.

That is the dress!!! And... I'm on the right. Far right. Just in case you didn't know. And looook at that corsage! (:

Back to whatever I wasn't really saying. I have successfully completed the first chapter of my BYU Chemistry packet. Have I expressed before how much I hate Chemistry? I hate it. A lot. I hate it with a deep, fiery, burning passion. It's all ridiculous. I'm never going to need to know the ....no I'm never going to need to know most of it. No one really cares about it. Unless you're a chemist. In which case, kudos to you, cause you obviously have some sort of willpower that I lack.

It's almost 2 o clock... that means I'll have been here for six hours. That's not even remotely okay. I'll leave soon... I'm hungry, and I don't want to buy myself food. Not at all. I really do need a job... I really wish someone would hire me underage. I wish I had my driver's license and a car. These are all things that would benefit my life greatly. I don't understand how people are so patient with age.

I created a facebook page for my band, Idyll Rigamarole, the other day. We don't have all that many fans... Which makes me quite sad. But it takes time, I suppose. Unfortunately, we don't have all that much time. The album is set to come out in July, and I don't know what is going to happen after that since the whole thing is through a program, and half our band is going off to college... Here's a picture of the band:

pretty hot right? you know you want to come to all our shows now (:
**cough** May 15th at Nobrow Coffee @ 7 pm. Be there. **cough**

I have absolutely nothing intelligent to say.
Still. I'm just rambling.
I apologize.

audio ventus.♥

and here we go...((full of angst.))

live it loud.
Well, I'm sitting in Sugarhouse coffee again. Earlier than EVER. Anyway, my whole morning has been SHIT. I try not to swear on this blog for fear of offending unknown people I don't care about ((that doesn't make sense, I just feel like it's more professional to not swear...))

(((dear reader, skip to next break if you don't want to read my pointless thoughts ramble mindlessly aiming chocolate photography nail polish navy blue.... what was I talking about?)))
I guess it would have helped to actually sleep last night but I'm not tired at all, wasn't tired at all, won't be tired for a good twelve hours. That's just how I work. Basically I got up, got dressed, did hair & makeup, ate a banana, did three shots of espresso since the fourth one got knocked over by my dog, wrestled my bike out of the storage room in my garage, froze my hands off on the way to coffee garden, spent $7 on coffee there including one mocha with a ton of extra sugar for my friend, started toward highland, coffee spilled all over my purse from Argentina, spilled all over my TOMS or rather one of my TOMS ((that's okay, it kind of gives them character.)) made it to 2100 S, coffee spilled again, decided it wasn't worth it, turned around and came here.
This is all ridiculous. It really isn't that ridiculous but I wasted $7, then paid another $3 for ANOTHER coffee. THAT is ridiculous. I should have just gone to coffee break in the first place.
So here's the scoop:
Saturday I rode my bike 14 miles. That might be why I have no patience for it today. It was a spontaneous ride and I loved it, but I'm still sore from it. I got a few pictures in, but then I ran out of film... I spent most of the day riding with my best friend and we had about ten dollars for the day. We went to sugarhouse on our bikes, got Wendy's for like $3, then wandered through Toys R Us, then went to Shopko and spent the best $7 of my life. We got a huge bag of PixyStix, some other new disgusting Wonka candy, and lollipops. The lollipops mostly ended up on the side of Toys R Us cause we crushed them against the brick wall... because they were absolutely revolting. It was basically corn syrup. ...just corn syrup. But we ate part of them just for the hell of it. I swear, I eat the worst food ever while I'm with Sidni. Maybe I'm just more conscious of it while I'm with her... Oh well.
Here's my train of thought:
..................~...........3............f.................w.............?............z........>......(..............$........$....$.....%.......t........k.........w............b............n.......x..........ugh.
Also, this packet I have to do for Chemistry ((BYU packet)) is horrid.
I want to take a gun and shoot multiple bullets through the binder.
Actually... just through the paper. The binder has done me no harm. In fact, it's quite a lovely binder.

All right here's some ((kind of)) intelligent sounding stuff. Not really. I really want Urban Decay purple lipstick, I've decided. I got some dark purple lipstick the other day and I absolutely adore it.
 ((I've also come to the realization that I really like the word "absolutely" even though it's not really what I mean. I tend to use a lot of words like that.... So whenever I say "absolutely _______" you should know I just mean "really, really _______" because I don't believe anything can ever be absolute unless you believe in a god.)) Nothing is really all that more attractive about Urban Decay lipstick other than the fact that it's got a really cute tube, the name reminds me of when I was a little kid ((all right, I'm still a little kid, LET IT GO PEOPLE!!!)) and it's vegan. And I'm not vegan. I'm vegetarian. But I still like the idea of it. Just like I really, really absolutely want vegan shoes!!

They're kind of... scary looking. But again, love the idea! And the flower at the end of the top one is super cute!! There are different designs too.
Here's the thing about going vegan though:
In my personal opinion, all it takes is a person deciding to go vegan and basically starving themselves because there are not all that many options of food. All right, you might be hardcore and really do your research and have the money to ensure every thing that goes into your mouth has never touched meat. But who has that kind of money and still wants to go vegan? I mean, you've got to have your own silverware that has never touched meat, own fridge, own glasses... Who wants to do that? I'm so tired of kids younger than I am going around telling people they're vegan. Kids at my high school too. Why is it so appealing?
I'm vegetarian, all right, no it's not for the animals, yes I respect animals, no I don't think animal cruelty is right, yes I think some things could be done differently on both sides, no I don't do it just to tell people, yes I have been vegetarian for more than a year ((it's actually almost been two now...)) and no I don't care if you eat meat. Here's what people need to understand: I'm going to go off and do my own thing for my own reasons, and I'll respect them enough to let them do the same for themselves. Go ahead and suggest things for me, I'm always open to opinions, but do not force your opinion upon me. Cause it'll just make me want to punch you in the face. Promise.
On to music... I really do like all genres of music. I think anyone can like any type of music if they give it enough of a chance... except maybe screamo. I can see that really hurting people's ears... Personally I think it's kind of relaxing and a release, but like I said, you can have your opinion, and I'll keep mine. I dislike certain artists because of their lyrics or their voice just rubs me the wrong way or other completely explainable reasons. I hate when people ask what kind of music another person likes and that person replies, "Oh, I like everything... except ______." Ask that person what music of that genre they've tried to listen to in their library, they'll probably come up blank except for a random song to which they have probably only half listened. I used to say I hated the Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana, Spice Girls, N*SYNC, et cetera. One day I put the time into actually listening to some of them--they really aren't all that bad. Even if the image is rough, these are people who are giving it their all to perform and record these songs. I think if a song really means enough to a person to write it and record it, it's worth the three minutes to hear what they have to say.
I'll stop writing for now since I've got to go get another coffee... wooooo more money...
And I'm going to be here all day. And this is the only place from which I blog. ((yay for correct grammar... me learn-ed englisch goodly on highland high school yeah?)) plus me can end blog in final note who soundses goodly way for to end paragraph. that was end.

audio ventus.