28.8.10

inspired

In a city of blind conformity, I had no place. Wandering without aim and lost in a world with which I had no contact, no identity. Criticizing auras lash out at my energy. I'm becoming depleted. I am trapped.
There is no name for here. Nothing is physical, nothing is tangible. I have no sense of identity. But that is how it should be. One of the most significant changes in death was the absolute acceptance of all these new ideas. The truth lost its blinding facade. There are no words to fully define "Truth." Something the mortal world has yet to accept is that you can't define. By definition of a being, it is tied down to one word. But each word is tied down to a series of letters. Eventually, you're left with a series of incomprehensible nothings--at least to you.
The way you see is not the way I see. I cannot see. I have no eyes, no brain to compute the light. Instead I see the energy coming from your body as you read my words. I see your energy shift as you tilt your head and twitch your finger to scroll down the page. I can watch the energy field cascade around you, affecting particles in all directions. I can see the struggle within you as your mind tries to decide what to think of this new information. My energy is flowing into yours, becoming a part of you. You didn't choose to read these words, you chose to open the page and allow your brain to soak up the text. Your mind is open.
I wish I'd had someone to guide me through the transition. My life ended so abruptly. It doesn't matter how. The state of life while a living human is an entirely different experience than being. While human, you experience everything in a heavy, weighted manner. After, it's almost indescribable. Views are changed completely. In a human metaphor, you are like one tiny water particle in a rainbow. You can only see the others directly surrounding you, while there are trillions of other particles just beyond your reach. While you're a small contribution to the big picture, death is the light that shines through all of you and brings me into existence. A rainbow. Not every part is my own, but when looking at the full spectrum, I am free to do a whole myriad of activities. One of the most important of these activities being that I have the option to disperse myself and disappear.
You've been considering asking about God this entire time, I know. Humans have formulated this image of a superior being which brought all of life into existence. Some believe God is a man, some a woman, some an androgynous figure, but all religions believe in the existence as an explanation of why we are here. Questions will remain unanswered to humans for all eternity. You simply don't have the means of accepting the truth as it really is. However, the most brief way of explaining it is this:
There is good and there is evil. You could call the good "Heaven," and the bad "Hell," but in the end it all evens out to be definite energy sources. These energy sources are the epitome of Pure good and Pure evil. In death, should the being choose to move on, they would choose which source to fuel with their own energy. Most beings choose whichever energy source they drew the most from in their mortal life, but there is always the choice. I, on the other hand, have chosen not to join either.
You can call me a ghost or a poltergeist or any other worldly name created for a "supernatural" being, but in reality I am of no definition. My ideas are to be interpreted in any manner and my information manipulated by any given being. Elaborations on the "afterlife" would only continue to cloud your own perception of energy as a whole, so I will say no more. But I will give you a word of advice:
Look toward each new day with an open mind for whatever you may encounter. May it be coincidence, fate, or some other defined destiny, it's all for a greater cause in the end. Appreciate it.




Sorry for the spontaneous spark of fiction. A recent conversation with a friend inspired it and I wanted to jot parts of it down. I have strange notions when I can't sleep. None of this is meant to offend anyone in any way, especially anyone who may believe in a god. I'm not saying these are definitely my views, but I'm also no denying I could accept any of these ideas. Before anyone asks, I did not copy this from a book, I did not take the plot out of an existing story, I did not use anything except my fingers to type and my mind to think. All the energy fields are somewhat similar to the energy described in The Celestine Prophecy, but it's not intended to represent that at all. I hope it at least made you think. There is thought put into it. Thanks for reading (: Always remember to 
listen to the wind

audio ventus.♥

19.8.10

post script

JUST KIDDING
I have to ramble about my movie findings a bit more (:
First of all, I watched The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest and they were AMAZING. I still don't like the plot lines quite as much as the first book/movie, but they were still fantastic. It makes me wish I spoke Swedish!! But I'll survive.



Okay... And also... I'm not a huge Kristen Stewart fan.
I'm also not a huge anti-Twilight person. I'm not going to deny that I went through my Twilight phase. In 7th grade. I just got over it. The third movie, Eclipse, was actually fairly decent. The new director, David Slade, (third one of the series... I guess the first and second just didn't cut it for them.) definitely kicked them into better shape. But no matter how much I disapprove of Kristen Stewart, her movie The Runaways was amazing. Co-starring with Dakota Fanning they did their absolute best to portray Cherie Currie (Fanning) and Joan Larkin/Jett (Stewart). I was skeptical when I started watching it, not only because of Stewart but also because I didn't want The Runaways to be turned into a pop culture item. I tried to cut my hair like Cherie Currie's once... That was a disaster!! My hair is still recovering. As I finished the movie I was thoroughly pleased. There were a few details I would have changed, but for the most part I thought it was amazing. I've watched it three times since. The costuming was amazing as well. It might not stand out at first, but once you watch it, you can't get it out of your head. At least I couldn't. Musically, Dakota's vocals were more on pitch and proper, but you simply cannot top the original ch-ch-ch-ch-CHERRY BOMB!!







I approve (: go watch them.

audio ventus.♥

it feels like the world's been infected

and somehow you've left me neglected...
You Lost Me--Christina Aguilera. beautiful song.
Anyway, I'd just like to apologize for never writing anymore!! Hopefully someone is missing my ramblings (:
Let's just say my personal journal is FULL of random stories and thoughts... My blog, not so much.
Boating with my friends was amazing.

Had to do the whole America's Next Top Model shot, of course (: we're so amazing, it's not even funny. The trip was full of dirty jokes and laughing, but also bonding between friends and some lovely chats. Definitely a highlight of my summer!! Especially midnight walks along the beach, lying in the sand, and seeing shooting stars. We all have to hang out soon again. Even though the two sides of the group hadn't ever really met each other, we all felt like best friends by the end of the trip!!

((yeah, we know we're hot. don't lie, you know you couldn't look any better than this after a day of boating and camping with no showers!!))

Yesterday I went to see Hello Amsterdam and Cub Country play at the library. props to Jeremy Chatelain. Not only were you an amazing mentor at spyhop this year, you also own the stage in both of these bands (: I hung out with Joel there for a bit and afterward I went to get coffee with Ola at coffee break. I swear everyone was there! Turns out Ola's mom is dating one of the guys I know there too. What a small world!!

Today all I did was go to Cafe Rio with Travis. Gotta love the unhealthy food... Then we went to Gateway and stood in the train station and sung Domine Exaudi. The acoustics are amaaaazzziiiinnnnggggg in there!!! We took like 325897239875 takes of ourselves singing in there but it seemed like either we would mess up or someone would walk in and make a ton of noise. We finally got a good track though (: Super fun.

That's all I really have to say, I know this probably doesn't seem like a very exciting post, but it's been such a great week so far (: I guess the moral of the story is that the greatest memories are sometimes made by just jumping into each day with a great attitude. How are YOU ending your summer?

audio ventus.♥

8.8.10

the grass always seems greener on the other side

so I just realized the immense difference between my personal journal and this blog.
also, reading through previous posts on this blog, it's kind of gone downhill haha
but from insights to shoes, it's just what's on my mind.
so I have a small assignment for anyone who chooses to read this:
make a list of everything on your mind and separate them into two different lists
call the lists whatever you want, but make one private and one public
you can even take it further and do more than two lists
but really it's all up to you.
you might be surprised where some things end up.

audio ventus.♥

4.8.10

somebody mixed my medicine...

now baby it's all gone...
new guilty pleasure band? The Pretty Reckless. Honestly, it isn't that "guilty" so to say. I only say that because I adore Taylor Momsen on Gossip Girl. I actually really respect her work as an actress, model, and now singer. She's so edgy and not afraid to be herself. For the die-hard old school rock n roll fans maybe her music isn't for you, but I love it. She's only slightly older than I am and I appreciate that she isn't trying to be the perfect little blonde pop-princess. We've got way too many of those nowadays. Current favourite song: Goin' Down.
"Hey there, Father, I don't wanna bother you but I've got a sin to confess, I'm just sixteen if you know what I mean, do you mind if I take off my dress?"
I'm pretty damn excited to finally turn sixteen. It feels like I've been waiting sixteen years. Oh wait...
Last night I splurged a little and bought myself some early birthday presents. Call me a bookworm and I'll take it as a compliment. I bought three books: The Celestine Prophecy, Classy, and Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. I'm so excited to read them. I skimmed through all the "A Lady" quotations in Classy last night and found that they were SO cute and really inspiring. The book is basically just a modern guide to etiquette for girls. If you're a girl and don't aspire to be your social group's Ke$ha, I would highly recommend checking it out.

Then I started reading The Celestine Prophecy which was highly recommended to me by Caleb Johnson. I only made it through the first two chapters before deciding I was way too exhausted to continue on and actually make any sense of it. I'm not sure if I approve of a lot of the writing style choices, but I'm sure the story will be great. Here's the book's description:
"In the rain forests of Peru, an ancient manuscript as been discovered. Within its pages are 9 key insights into life itself--insights each human being is predicted to grasp sequentially, one insight, then another, as we move toward a completely spiritual culture on Earth."
The cover is classy (hehe) and simple, no pictures or intriguing designs. That type of cover in a bookstore today says one of three things about a book: that the book is extraordinarily boring, the publisher was too cheap to come up with something creative, or the book is so amazing that it can stand on it's own without any visual draw. I'm hoping this one falls into that third category.

Now we come to Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. It's a pretty well known title, but I just haven't gotten around to reading it yet. If you're interested in pop-culture of any form, this is the book for you. Like Rocky Horror Picture Show? Chuck Klosterman provides a myriad of new goodies over which to obsess.


All right, finished with the books. I also stopped by Blockbuster on my way home and picked up The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. For you select followers who are up to date on my ramblings, you probably are thinking "Oh thank god, it only took MONTHS of you saying you need to see it..." Don't worry, I'm as relieved as you are. I'm just so terrible at seeing movies. I was really skeptical when I popped the disc into my laptop ((I always watch movies on my laptop&plug it into the sound system in my room... so much better than the tv... even if I'm settling for a smaller screen. Worth it.)) and hit play. Fortunately, director Niels Arden Oplev didn't disappoint. I was extraordinarily relieved to find the movie is in Swedish with subtitles. I don't think it would have been nearly as satisfying if they'd made all the characters speak English. I was even satisfied with the casting choices. I'll always prefer my original ideas of the characters that I formed in my mind while reading the books, but the movie was still fantastic. I highly recommend both the movie and the book if you're into suspense and mystery.



On a completely different and utterly cliche note, I feel inclined to give a few shoutouts to awesome people in this post. So here is a list of friends, new acquaintances who will hopefully become better friends, and people I greatly admire:
Sidni Hodgson. Nothing beats spending time with your best friend. Especially dodging through sprinklers in a white t-shirt while attempting to get home. Enough said.
Matthew Burton. Even Classy instructs the proper lady to have at least one "GBF." That's gay best friend. Don't know how I feel about that being a classy requirement, but I don't have to worry about that anyway. Gotta love the fierce Leo's!!
Jeremy Hodges. Did you know that Toys R Us has a red door?! Endless games of truth or truth and mocha cappuccinos with extra mo-KA! Irreplaceable.
Parker Holt. Word to the wise: don't over-rotate while backflipping off the white. Feel better Parker (:
Alicia Murphy. Best friends since 3rd grade. Plus she has my blog bookmarked on her mac. No explanation needed.
Renzo Miera. Just for being super cool and agreeing that Monty Python is the shit. And for being at Spy Hop. It's hard to be at Spy Hop and not be super cool though. Here's to hopefully being better friends in the future (: Thanks for caring enough to read my blog.
Joel Brown. Another awesome Spy Hopper. Hardly know the guy but coffee was awesome anyway. Here's to the future success of his awesome new album-in-process!! And to Bruno. Cause... Sacha Baron Cohen is just fantastic.
Blake Sharette & Caleb Johnson. Those dudes are just too cool. Both for being awesome guitarists and awesome friends in general. But they both owe me a hang out.
But Blake, let's not kid now. I'd be the most badass Disney princess ever. I don't care if they already have an Asian one. I even watch Disney channel to study for my role (;

I know I've left quite a few people off this list but I'll get around to another one sometime or later.
Look into those books and the movie. Really.

audioventus.♥