April skies drizzle
Why is it so cold today?
May should be warmer.

I'm gonna make it, make it better...

well... it's Wednesday. It doesn't feel like Wednesday. Tomorrow will be Thursday, Thursday, oh no it can't be!
I'm eating Noodles&Company and sitting in sugarhouse coffee, I've got a nice iced americano waiting for me too. Today was busy. Woke up at 5, did a coffee run, went to school for rehearsal, sat through Theatre I/II, went to voice for the actor, sat in Modern I, and then Modern II, and then got noodles and came here. It was a pretty nice day!! The rain is slightly obnoxious after a while, but it always makes me happy when my hair is damp (:

Modern II was interesting. My best friend choreographed a piece for her upcoming dance concert that tells the story of some stuff that happened over the summer... I almost cried. The girls dancing with her are all amazing. It may need to be cleaned a bit, but I'm sure they can pull it together. Dancing is amazing... I just don't have the time to learn the technique. I do miss it though.

I'm so tired of sitting around doing nothing. I want to go do something exciting, truly exciting. Something that I'll actually remember twenty years from now if I'm still alive. That sounds like a good plan. I mean, there's no excitement in sitting at a coffee shop blogging... But I can't think of anything better to do, so here I am.

This rain is washing the pollen away. Isn't that fantastic? I forgot to take an allergy pill this morning too! Life must have decided to do me a favour. Do you believe in Karma? I do, in a way. Not in the sense that if you do something good for someone else, another act of kindness will be returned to you by someone, but in that no matter how good things may be going, it's always going to have downsides, and however bad it may seem, something good will come along eventually.

Prom is on Friday. That means I have approximately two days to finish my dress. Which means I should probably make a trip to the fabric store... probably in two hours ago. That would help. I'm pretty good at procrastination. But I really do need to finish the dress. Seeing as prom is Friday...
I'll buy a dress for SPA's Prom in May, but Highland's Prom isn't as big a deal to me. It's been a while since I designed anything anyway, so it's good for me.

The other night I made a super cute mix tape/CD/playlist for a friend. It's not anything special, other than that it illustrates a story pretty well. I hope my friend understands it, at least partially. It's got some good music on there. I should make mix tapes more often!!

I've decided that I really like the word "pristine." It just sounds so... crisp.
Yesterday was 4/20. I don't celebrate that though. The only thing 4/20 means to me is my ex's birthday, Hitler's birthday, other tragedies, and that the next day is April 21. I don't really understand why 4/20 is such a big deal. It honestly seems pretty ridiculous to me. But who knows, it's not my place to tell people what to do with their lives.

Also, yesterday, my band ((Idyll Rigamarole)) played on Park City TV with my friend's band ((The Direction.)) It went pretty well, and we had a lot of fun. Then I went to Marmalade with the Direction while they played a second show. There were a lot more people I knew there than I was expecting. All in all, I've had a pretty decent week so far, and hope it continues in the same manner.
Sans rain. I could definitely do without that.
Even if it is kind of, kind of nice.

audio ventus.♥

bye bye birdie♥

she bit her lip in contemplation
anticipation
of his reply
as she sipped her bitter sweet coffee
reminiscent of summer days
spent on the east coast
aimlessly minding about
without a worry, mindlessly aiming
golden sunrise to brighten
enlighten
to new paths
in case the coffee loses its taste
so longing for the summer days
spent on the east coast
aimlessly minding about
without a worry, minding aimlessly
help me find my destination
don't end my vacation
I need those sunny summer days
spent on the east coast
aimlessly minding about
without a worry, minding aimless
aimlessly minding
every day on the east coast♥

it's called a haiku...

springtime blossoms bright
music carried by the wind
I want to meet you.♥

birds flyin high...♥

you know how I feel, sun in the sky, you know how I feel, breeze driftin on by, you know how I feel, it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, and I'm feelin good!! I'm feelin good... fish in the sea, you know how I feel, river runnin free you know how I feel blossom on a tree, you know how I feel...
ALLERGIC TO SPRING!!!
Oy vey. this pollen nonsense is killing me. I'm on allergy medicine, but it takes a few days to start working apparently, cause I'm still dying. Hardcore... Like, all right plants and trees, you look all pretty, but do you really have to reproduce? It makes my eyes water and my nose run and I sneeze every thirty seconds... I'm okay with it for a few days, but the entire season is a bit much, don't you think?

I'm ((guess where?)) sugarhouse coffee. of course. Just finished uploading pictures from my morning adventure with my friend Jeremy... Who made me wake up at five o clock to bring him coffee and hang out with him before school. Which first of all, on a normal day I wouldn't even have to be to school until 9:05... But today was even a late start day. So my class didn't start till 10:05... This is just unacceptable. So very unacceptable.

I really have nothing interesting to write about at all. Let's see... Michael Buble has been the soundtrack to my life for days straight. It's on repeat and probably has gone through both Crazy Love and It's Time almost twenty times each. Absolutely love it!! It's just the sort of music I sit in my room, turn up the speakers all the way, and belt it at the top of my lungs! all the lyrics are just so cute. And true.

Isn't it funny how one of the places I'm in love with is one of my "power countries" according to my Zodiac sign? ((I'm a Leo!!)) Italyyyyy sounds so lovely right now. Who wants to let me come live with them? Please and thank you! I miss Italy so much. Especially the food. Gelato&real pizza every day of my life? Sounds like a fantastic plan. Never had it? Well, you're definitely missing out.

I really want to get a job... Unfortunately, I'm too young for most places to hire. I could really do with the extra money though. Oh well, just a few more months. Being young is a privilege, but it's a curse at the same time. No one takes you seriously, and things are always either too serious, or not serious enough. Personally, I don't think it makes any sense at all, but every man to his own. I know plenty of twenty or thirty year olds who are less mature than fifteen year olds. Not to say that's always the case, you just have to get to know people. Which is why I am so frustrated at not being able to get a job yet.

 All the things I can think of right now aren't very interesting...
Bearable to read about, I suppose, but
Creativity is not coming easily at the moment since I
Don't really have anything on my mind...
Except for Michael Buble & music!!
Forget everything else, just
Grab your coffee and Turn On Billie, or rather anything that makes you
Happy, and give thinking a rest since there's going to be
Inevitable stress in your day, no matter what... but don't look at life as a
Joke since in the end we will all be
Killed, making all our friends and loved ones
Lament and cause a
Myriad of butterflies to be crushed, but
Never forget the
Optimistic point of view, everyone has a
Positive influence on someone in some point during their
Quintessential life which
Reflects on someone else, although it may be
Suppressed behind a mask of
Tyranny, forcing one to appear
Unapproachable when one's intentions may be
Vindicated; the point is, a person's life cannot possibly be
Wasted since, unless you have severe
Xenophobia and live without
Zest, secluded in a room away from everyone else,
you will have changed someone's life.

audio ventus.♥

let's talk about you, let's talk about me...

let's talk about us and what we could be?
it's another beautifully warm day and I am again sitting in Sugarhouse Coffee drinking my iced americano and just finished reading a selection from Art & Fear. Here's my favourite quote of the day:

"When bankers get together for dinner, they discuss Art.
When artists get together for dinner, they discuss money."
--Oscar Wilde

It seems so obvious, but when you think about it, it's true. When I sit down with my friends from school, we never talk about performing arts except perhaps to congratulate someone on a good performance or our doubts about an audition. Sometimes we all need a break from our Passions and social gatherings usually do fall under the category of a break. I absolutely adore theatre and singing and writing, but I don't want to talk about them 24/7. You really can wear yourself out, even concerning things you love.

I can't focus right now... But I'm having a fantastic conversation about visual art.
More later? Perhaps.

audio ventus.♥

you can only act upon your purpose
whether it be internal, external, or the purpose to find your purpose
so don't compromise my journey--I'll return the favour.

back to basics

Okay, so I know it's been a while since my last post, mostly due to the fact that I have been lacking in the laptop possession department, but I'm sitting at Sugarhouse Coffee drinking a 24 oz iced americano ((of course)) and thinking. I was going to come and read, but this seems just as productive. All right. So, this might sound extremely superficial, but I dyed my hair ((yes, again)) and now it's back to almost my natural colour. Maybe slightly lighter, and a little bit red still in the sun. Anyway, it's kind of weird to me. I feel almost exposed. My hair hasn't been its natural colour for a long, long time, and now that it is, I can't decide whether I like it or not. Either way, it's basically me, so I have to learn to accept it or try to change it. And considering my track record with hair dye, the best bet is probably to just accept it.

I'm sitting in front of a painting called "BUTTON" by Colleen B. Crotty. It depicts a pair of hands on a pottery wheel forming a clay pot. Here's the thing: my adoptive mother is a potter. Has been her whole life. And I've been working with clay since before I can even remember. However much I love working with clay and doing visual art, be it painting or drawing or ceramics or anything else, it's still my mother's "thing" and I need to get away from it. I've branched off to performing arts, but I still do visual art sometimes as a hobby. I absolutely adore the Annual Utah Foster Care Chalk Art Festival ((CAF)) that I participate in during the summer. My team has gotten the People's Choice Award both years we've competed, and we participated once as featured artists. I just love the way you have total control over what you're creating with your hands, and the way that a simple movement can cause the entire visual to change, for better or worse. You might not always get the result for which you're looking, but either way it's still art. You can't define "art" for another person, and there are infinite opinions you may be overlooking. Don't judge your creations before you look at them from a different perspective, because you might find something beautiful and inspiring within your art that you didn't even mean to convey. 

"It's eleven thirty... eleven twenty three actually, I never could say accurately what time it is exactly..."

Dirty Socks by Erin Haley. That's completely irrelevant to anything I had to say, but it's exactly 11:23 and that song popped into my head, so I thought, 'Might as well jot it down.' Look her and her band ((La Farsa)) up. They're pretty great (: Also, the outlet I have my laptop charger plugged into obviously doesn't work since... well... it's not turning on or charging. I just bought a "Go Green" laptop charger that's supposed to save energy. Plus you have to turn the charger itself on and off, so it doesn't waste energy while it's just plugged in. Pretty cool right? Sure, if you want to spend $90 on a laptop charger.

Album of the month: She & Him--Volume Two. I've loved She & Him for a long time, since a few months after their first album came out, and everyone should know how much I love Zooey Deschanel, so this probably shouldn't be much a surprise. I just find so many of their lyrics applicable to my life, and I love the overall sound. Kind of similar to my own music? That probably has something to do with it. Must say though, I'm not a huge fan of the music video for "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here." The one for "In the Sun" is all right, but could have been cleaned a bit. Props to Zooey and M. Ward for approaching a different sound in a day where everything has to sound like Lady GaGa. No offense to Lady GaGa, whom I adore, it's just that her songs ((not her Stefani ones or her acoustics, but the ones on the radio)) are a good example of the standard of popular music. 

Altruism (āl'trōō-ĭz'əm) 

n. 

1. Unselfish concern for the welfare of others; selflessness.

2. Zoology Instinctive behavior that is detrimental to the individual but favors the survival or spread of that individual's genes, as by benefiting its relatives.

That book I read, Darwin's Cathedral, brought up the topic of altruism more often than it mentioned a god. Personally, I think altruism is really interesting. Altruism brings up the argument of "unselfish" human gestures, in which we must define "unselfishness." Look again at Plato's The Republic ((I know, going there again.)) The question is asked, "What is Justice?" and also "What are the intentions of the Just?" Both altruism and Justice are debatable because they are not easily defined, and people's intentions may not be pure, even if the act seems to be altruistic or just. For example, if a person takes away a friend's pack of cigarettes with the excuse that the friend is trying to quit, but then the person intends on smoking the pack of cigarettes him/herself, should they have taken the cigarettes at all? 

I drove to school today.

It was scary.

But exciting (: I'm already better than half my friends!! That's not saying much though. I've always figured it's super easy to crash a car, but I guess not. You have to be pretty unobservant or distracted. Brings to mind that super cheesy quote, "With great power comes great responsibility." It's not that I'd never driven before, just that intersection on 1300 E 2100 S is ridiculously busy. Plus I know of a girl who was killed in that intersection while driving. Not exactly the happiest thoughts while you're driving through the same intersection every weekday.

That's all I really have to say right now cause I'm a bit distracted. Coffee shop and all. I love writing in coffee shops, but I'm superbly tired today and just can't focus!! I'll try to write more later, if I don't get too busy with band practice and more coffee. Till then

audio ventus♥