rough.

Well, I've had a rough twenty four hours. To say the least. But I'm in an okay mood now so maybe words can come out more smoothly than before.
But sticking with a slight tinge of sadness, let's talk about wounds. Not like physical wounds, that's a whole other story, but emotional ones. Say you have been wounded and it's not very deep, but over time it grows and grows and keeps getting worse and worse. It becomes harder and harder to try to heal it, or even cover it up. Sometimes it gets to the point where you don't even bother trying to cover it up, because it's too deep, and perhaps it's become a part of you. So what do you do? Can you do anything? Or do you need participation from the wounder and the wounded? It's hard to say.

Three of my favourite movies of all time? ((in no particular order)) You probably have already guessed Breakfast At Tiffany's from my constant talk about Tiffany's&mean reds, but two more are Wristcutters: A Love Story and The Good Life. All three of them are movies you should watch, except maybe Breakfast at Tiffany's if you don't like chick flicks. But Wristcutters&The Good Life have such powerful messages, you might be changed forever--I know I was.  Both movies have my favourite (living) actor, Patrick Fugit. In Wristcutters he's the main character, and in The Good Life he's just a supporting character. The Good Life has my favourite (living) actress, Zooey Deschanel. They're such great movies with powerful messages, it saddens me to think that people may have watched them without ever looking deeper than the pretty people and images. It's movies like these that make you feel sick, in a good, heart-wrenching way that can change your views on life forever. I don't want to summarize them, because it wouldn't do the movies justice.

Speaking of Justice. What is Justice? Why are we Just? I miss my philosophy/theology class so much. I never really realized how lucky I was to be getting that kind of information at such a young age. Fortunately, I'm still quite young and have a lot of Time and a lot to learn. But then, there are several downsides to being young as well.

One is high school. You're forced to go. You really have no choice. And then when you get there, you're thrown into a room with a bunch of other kids who are forced to be there as well, forced to mingle with them, forced to study useless information (half of which you will never use in your life), and then allowed to leave. The worst part? The teachers. They don't care if you do well or not. They don't care if you're smarter than them or not. They're just there to do their job. Which is basically to not care. There are exceptions to every stereotype, and I hate stereotypes, but then there are people who fit the bill perfectly. And it's those people who piss ((peace... hahah.)) me off.

A second is judgments. I can't even tell you how many people I've met and had intellectual conversation with and then they ask how old I am, and from then on, they just write me off. Isn't it ridiculous? Okay, yes, half the fifteen year old girls I know are extremely immature and stereotypical, but then look deeper and you can find some really great people who are fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. In fact, I know several people who are 20+ years old with whom I have trouble conversing. Don't judge me by my age or my looks, you may be shocked at what you find.

Here's a poem I wrote in frustration:
Tears overflow like wine from a chalice
Not a person alive without a sense of malice
Running away like a bee runs from smoke
Heartbreak and yelling always causes me to choke
It’s time for a change, I can’t stand it anymore
This hurts beyond reason, right down to my core
My head is throbbing and heart beating fast
Still running and running away from the past
It’s something a song or a book cannot fix
I tried to force vinegar and oil to mix
Happiness with sadness, rain with sunshine
You want relief? Sorry, love, there’s a line
I refuse to bleed, I’ll write love on my arm
You’ll never see just how much you can harm
A person by yelling and taking away
All that they love… What reason is there to stay?
Funny how you can write to convey more than one point
From “Love” lost to a huge fight-it all can be joined
But this rhyme scheme is horrid and seems oh so happy
I need to stop before it gets too sappy.♥


audio ventus.♥